Otay… *sad face*
Otay… *sad face*
After Chris left I called my girls and after they finish their daily responsibilities they are coming to the hotel. Chris had brought me some clothes awhile a go but I plan on going back to get the rest of my clothes. I talked to Mama J and kind of explained that something has come up and asked could she keep the kids a little longer. She agreed but when I go to VA I have to explain what’s going on.
My phone rang against my chest and I noticed it was Laith’s name flashing across the screen. “Hi.” I said lowly into the phone. “Hey. I was calling to check on you.” he said. He must’ve been outside because the wind was blowing into the phone. “Eh. I’ve seen better days.” I faked a laugh. “You mind if I come by?” he asked hesitantly. “Um. Yeah come on by.” I replied with my heart beating fast in my chest.
After the phone call ended my heart was still beating fast in my chest. Why? Is my question. I don’t think I’m nervous or anything. Maybe it’s because I haven’t eaten. Yeah that’s it. I’m too tired to think of anything else that it could possibly be.
Time seemed to go by so quick. Before I knew it knocks sounded at my door. “Hi.” I smiled softly once I noticed the smile stretched across his face. “Hey.” He smiled as he stepped in. He had his camera dangling around his neck so I assume he was out taking photos.
“Taking pictures again?” I asked and he smiled.
“Yeah. Only like two there is really no good shots during the day.” He shrugged as we went to sit on the couch. Nodding I sat Indian style as I reached to fix the bun on my head.
“You okay?” He questioned his eyes searching mine. Nodding I felt the tears swell up in the brim of my eyes. My bottom lip started to quiver and I let out a long frustrated sigh. Scooting closer to me Laith wrapped his arm around my shoulder and my body instantly melted against his as my tears soaked his shirt.
“Sorry about wetting up your shirt.” I apologized with a slight giggle. “It’s no problem really.” He chuckled. I ordered room service for us and we were just sitting around munching on the food.
“I’ve notice something about you.” He stated.
“And what would that be?” I inquired.
“You’re very selfless. And it shows in the way you talk — your presence in a whole.” He complimented and instantly I blushed putting my head down slightly as I pushed some hair behind my ear. The camera flash caught my attention quickly darting my eyes back to him. I heard him chuckle then he turned the camera towards me so I could see the picture.
“Wow.” I said lowly. The angle he took the picture made me look like a model even with red puffy eyes.
“This is beautiful. You really have a eye for art.”
“Thank you but an artist is nothing without his muse.”
“Excuse me.” I smiled and pushed myself off of the couch to answer the door. Twisting the door knob I peeked my head out of the crack I provided; “Hi girls.”
“Hey hunny.” Stacey said with a pout. Her, Kristina and Brandi gave me hug before they entered. “Guys this is Laith. Laith this is Kristina, Brandi, and Stacey.” I introduced them to one another before disappearing into the kitchen to fix myself something to drink. “Joy I am going to get going. I’ll check up on you later.” Laith told me once I came back into the room. I walked him to the door and he gave me a hug before he went on and left.
“Be careful Joy.” Stacey warned.
“What are you talking about?” I questioned.
“Laith.” Brandi spoke up.
“He’s just a friend nothing more. Nothing less.” I waved them off.
“Yeah a shoulder to lean on becomes another dick to ride on.” Kristina mumbled. “The hell are y’all trying to say? I am not like that. I’ve been a faithful ass good ass wife!” I spat.
“Joy calm down we know this, but considering what you and Chris are going through…Anything can happen.” Stacey continued. Huffing rolled my eyes and plopped down onto the couch. I don’t need to hear this shit right now. I still need to figure out my next move.
“What’s going on with you? Yo ass super quiet.” Mijo questioned. We were sitting in the studio but I couldn’t bring my mind to focus on music — not with all that’s going on. “Long story short Joy caught me red handed and she damn near demanded a divorce.” I sighed running my hands over my face.
“I told yo ass homie.” He shook his head and I glared at him with a clenched jaw. I know I fucked up big time I don’t need to be reminded nor lectured about the choices I made. “Joy a good ass wife dawg. She the best thing that ever happened to you. Smarten up. I ain’t tryna tell you what to do or nothing but as your friend I got to tell you this.” He continued and I huffed.
Rolling my eyes I scooted back to the sound board and randomly messed with the buttons like I was really doing some work. Dr. Mari’s lesson for me to work on popped into my head and I think I figured it out.
“Can I come see you?” he asked lowly into the phone and I sighed. “Chris…” I trailed off. “I just need to see you. I Promise. I won’t try anything I just need you around me, and I kind of want to tell you something.” He mumbled the last part but I heard him. “Fine,” I sighed. “Chris I swear on all that is holy if you come here on some complete bullshit I’ma fuck you up.” I chuckled bitterly and hung up.
I dropped the phone onto the bed and threw my body back against the mattress. The room was quiet and I focused on the sound of my heart beating. Relaxing myself against the soft fabric of the comforter I mentally reminded myself to set an alarm to get up in the morning. I have to fly to VA and get the kids and I still haven’t figured out what I’m going to do. I absolutely refuse to go back into that house – I will not do it simple as that. I don’t even want the kids there. Maybe we can stay here for a few weeks until I can find a condo or something.
Knocks sounded at the door and it scared me a bit. He must’ve been close by. Rolling off of the bed I slowly made my way to the door; with each my heart rate picked up. I don’t like that. He should have no effect on me right now as far as I’m concerned.
Swinging the door open he gave me a faint smile before I stepped aside and let him. “Bab-.” He started but I gave him a stern look. “I’m sorry, Joy…” he was about to ramble and make small talk fuck that shit.
“Cut the bullshit what do you want to talk about?”
Sequel to what?
About these updates…I have started school so updates will take longer…or not at all. Out of the week I only have Friday’s, Saturday afternoons/nights, and Sunday’s off. Not enough time for me to update all of my stories. Some are being put on hold. Some maybe cut short and some maybe deleted. The stories for sure that will be continued to be updated are:
Sorry for the wait on updates but school is kicking my ass! But if you can deal with me updating this story whenever inbox me and let me know and I’ll keep this page open.
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Lol thank you.
thank you :)
Why her? Why her?
Did I get on your nerves?
Did I give you too much that you couldn’t handle my love?
Why her? Why her?
Tell me what she was worth it, to make you put her first and deceive me.
You wanna come back but I gotta know (why her?)
I thought she was all that? Then why you at my door?
(Now look at you, look at us, what’s all this for?
Hope you got the answers to my questions)
“Joy we don’t have to talk about it. Do you want me to take you somewhere?” Laith asked once my crying died down. I simply nodded and sniffed roughly. Standing up from the bench we started to walk. “Did you drive here?” he asked and I nodded.
Digging in my pocket I took out my car keys and handed it to him. Once we made it to my car I sat in the passengers seat and he took the drivers seat. “Where you want me to take you?” he asked.
“The Luxe City Center Hotel.” I mumbled since it was the closest one near here.
Once we got there I checked in and Laith walked me up to my suite. “Thank you.” I said lowly digging in my purse to give him some cab fair. “Nah you keep that. Just call me if you need me alright.” he said and kissed my forehead.
“Okay.” I nodded and forced a small smile. I stepped into my suite and let out a breath and tears started to fall.
Everything was going great! We’ve been progressing in therapy! And he goes and does this to me! The kids! OUR FAMILY THAT WE BUILT! Shaking my head I tried to push the thoughts to the back of my mind.
I need a moment of peace.
They have a pool downstairs so why not go there and let the water sooth me? I took a look in the mirror and was horrified with what I saw. My eyes and nose were red and puffy. And my skin had no color to it.
I washed my face with one of the towels provided and soapy hot water. I put my hair in a bun then realized I had nothing to swim in.
Sighing I stripped out of my clothes and turned the shower on and stepped inside letting the hot water cover my body.
Closing my eyes late night memories of all the love, laughs and tears me and Chris flooded my mind and my bottom lip quivered as the tears fell mixing with the hot water.
“Ugh!” I yelled out in frustration.
I don’t so much hate Chris. I just hate what he has done. Not only has he broken his promise to me. He broke his promise to the kids. Once the water turned cold I turned off the water and wrapped a towel around my body.
I stepped into the living to get my phone to call Stacey but see him sitting on the couch. His eyes were red along with the rest of his face. “Fuck you doing here? I don’t want to see you!” I gritted through my teeth.
“Joy let me explain.” he pleaded. “NO! HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE! HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS HERE!” I hollered as the tears burned the back of my eyes. “That don’t matter just let me explain. I owe you that much.” he continued to plead.
“No! You”ve done enough talking. It’s my turn!” I yelled.
“You know when we first met I didn’t think things would get as far as they did. You were my knight in shining armor.” I chuckled bitterly and let my tears fall. “You were everything I wanted and need. You took me out of the dark and brought me to the light. Showed me what love was.” I took a deep breath. “Where did it all go wrong huh? I don’t know this person. This isn’t the man I MARRIED!” I paused and wiped the tears that were rolling down my cheeks.
“I want a divorce. Maybe if the old Chris shows up I could consider taking you back. But for now. We are done.” I took off my wedding ring and sat it on the coffee table.
“Nah I ain’t gon accept this. Don’t do this to us baby please!” he said remorsefully. “I’ll do any and whatever baby but please don’t do this!” he continued tears now falling from his eyes. My chest tightened and my throat became extremely dry. I’ve rarely seen Chris cry in all the time we’ve been together.
“I didn’t do this you did!” I yelled.
“God why do you do this! I hate you! One minute I can’t stand yo ass! You always do this to me!” I shook my head tiredly. “I be ready to be done with all the bullshit then you do something that makes me feel bad and want you in my arms hugging and kissing and tell me everything is going to be okay!” I yelled and dropped my face in my hands and cried.
The warmness of his body pressed against mine and we cried together in the middle of the room.
Laying in the bed I watched her as she slept. I couldn’t sleep at all because I feared that she would slip away during the night. I know this doesn’t solve anything but hopefully its a start.
When she took off her wedding ring thats what made thing real for me. I couldn’t let the best thing that ever happen to me slip away because of my dumbass mistakes. She turned over in her sleep and slowly opened her tired eyes.
“Can you let me go? I gotta pee.” she mumbled looking past me. I sighed and released my grip on her. She covered her body with the throw sheet and went to the bathroom. I ran my hands over my face and sighed deeply.
Everything is fucked up and it’s my fault.
* * *
“Can we talk about this?” I asked when she came out the bathroom. “I’m tired of talking Chris. That’s all we have been doing and look where we are now.” she sighed. ‘We either need to separate or get a divorce.
I don’t want to put the kids through this bullshit but something needs to be done. I can’t keep going back and forth with you.” she continued with tears building up in her eyes.
“Please stop crying babe. I’m sorry.” I apologized. “Sorry doesn’t fix a damn thing Chris! You’ve hurt me deep! I really have a pain in my chest!” she stressed wiping her tears.
“I know but I don’t know what else to say.” I said. “There’s nothing you can say. You should be focusing on your actions.” she said and I nodded taking it all in. I will show her how sorry I am. And hopefully we can get back to how things use to be.